I've found it a shame that the major political parties have both chosen to make abortion (as well as gay marriage) such hot-button issues in major political races, such as this year's race for the Presidency. Both sides have adopted very simplistic views on the issue, each drawing a line in the sand and refusing to budge beyond it.
My own experience with abortion came in 1988, when my girlfriend at the time informed me that she was pregnant. There was very little discussion on the subject, and before we even took the time to talk it over, she insisted that she had to abort it. She was a 21 year old college student whose father was a prestigious professor at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia. Once she knew, she made up her mind immediately. I had drifted away from my faith many years earlier, and I behaved rather poorly. I was stunned by the whole thing, and every time we were together in the days immediately following her announcement, I sat like a deer in the headlights, frozen in my tracks. In a single moment, the consequences of my actions had come crashing down on me, and I had no foundation of experience on which to draw. Rather than step up like a man, I withdrew from her. I thought I was being supportive, but in retrospect I was emotionally missing-in-action. A week or so later she had the abortion, I paid for half of it, and she told me she never wanted to see me again. I can't say I blame her. I didn't particularly like myself either at the time.
But in the years past, and since my return to my faith, I have revisited that situation again and again, and realized the importance of faith. If we truly follow God's laws, those sorts of things don't happen at all. God defines adultery as any sexual relationship outside of marriage, and tells us not to do it. He doesn't go into a lot of detail explaining why, but if you think about the fallout that can result, the reasons are obvious. Had I listened, I never would have gotten my girlfriend pregnant. Had we continued in our relationship to the point of marriage, in all likelihood the pregnancy would have been welcomed, and at the very least, provided a secure environment in which to handle an unplanned pregnancy. When I look at the Decalogue, I can't help but believe that if all of us, faithful believers to secular agnostics, took even the last six of the Commandments to heart, a huge part of the world's social ills would fade away like mist. Take a look at them sometime, and give it some thought. If we all behaved in accordance with them, wouldn't the world be a much better place?
Like many Christians, I believe that physical life begins at the moment of conception, and our spiritual lives began quite a bit earlier. I have come to love the beautiful verses of the 139th Psalm. Verses 13 through 16 in particular speak to our individual spirits and bodies, and how they are a part of God's plan long before we arrive on the planet.
For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth. Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Your book were all written, the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them.
I really don't understand how any person who claims to be a Christian could read this verse and still think that abortion is somehow okay. The problem is that both Presidential candidates support abortion-on-demand, and both candidates claim to be Christians (McCain changed his "official" stance for the election, but has stated on record that he supports a woman's right to choice). I realize that as potential leaders of a pluralistic society, they must make concessions toward universal values, but as they claim to be Christians, I still struggle to understand why they personally endorse the right to an abortion.
I think the problem is simple. Somehow, somewhere along the line, the people of this nation (including many Christians) have moved away from accepting personal responsibility for many of their actions, and started creating loopholes to deal with the consequences of those actions. We've also continued to change the definitions of certain words, allowing us to push the boundaries of our behavior to the limits. Unplanned pregnancies and the use of abortion to deal with the consequences provide a perfect case in point.
As a man who has impregnated a woman who aborted a fetus, I have come to realize that both my girlfriend and I were careless and irresponsible. We were both adults, and we both knew that unprotected sex can and will cause pregnancy. When we did take precautions, we were casual about it at times, and downright careless at others. As a result of both of our actions, an unplanned pregnancy occurred. Our careless actions had dire consequences. What should be an joyous occasion was in fact a sordid and destructive one, and event that not only took the life of an unborn child, but also destroyed something within me and my girlfriend.
Now we get to the critical part, the part about changing definitions and boundaries, and why I don't think abortion should be viewed as a "reproductive option," as many like to call it. I think that once my girlfriend got pregnant, the time for choosing "reproductive options" had passed. Prior to her getting pregnant, my girlfriend and I had many, many options before us, and all those choices involved things that could have been done to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. We were casual and careless to a fault, and as a result of not being responsible by taking advantage of the myriad opportunities available to us, she got pregnant. The fault was with both of us. Any unwanted pregnancy of this type is the fault of both the man and the woman, and this is where men need to step up to the plate.
When my girlfriend got pregnant, it was a direct result of the two of us not taking enough responsibility for our actions, or considering the consequences of them. Period. Once pregnant, we looked for a fast and easy way to deal with the consequences of our actions, and we took the easy way out...again, it was both of us, and not just her, not just me. At that point in my life, I viewed the abortion as just another option, rather than treating it as a consequence of ignoring my options.
And now I'll get to the reason why both political parties are getting it wrong. I think the Democrats are queasy about asking people to take personal responsibility for their actions, and instead want to create more and more options (some of which are quite boneheaded) for people who are suffering the consequences of being irresponsible. They do so, I'm sure, in the interest of not appearing intolerant to personal choices, but I believe that tolerance becomes a negative factor when it begins to tolerate bad things.
The Republicans, who claim to place so much value on the sanctity of life (but have no problem with the death penalty and unjust wars), demand we protect these unborn children at all costs. That would be nice, except that the majority of American women who get abortions are poor single minority mothers, whose children are often born into poverty and strife, many continuing the process through generations. Assuming those women carried these pregnancies to term, it's the Republican party that wouldn't want anything to do with helping them once out of the womb. I think it's wrong to demand that we preserve life in the womb, and then desert the mother and child once the fetus is born. One important point to keep in mind here is that I'm speaking of the majority of abortions, which are the result of consensual sex between a man and woman, and not dealing with situations like incest and rape.
The real problem, of course, boils down to this: our society simply must find a way to return to a time when we accepted personal responsibility for our actions, and took the necessary precautions to insure that our behavior wouldn't put us in situations that require us to take the life of an unborn fetus. Where both political parties fail is at this point. Neither wants to address the issue in real terms for fear of alienating voters and losing the election. The Democrats want all options to be on the table, rather than asking people to accept personal responsibility. The Republicans make the mistake of asking the government to enforce a law with moral implications, rather than simply asking people to accept personal responsibility.
The solution is simple, but implementing it is much harder because it requires individuals, and a nation of people, to change their hearts. That can only happen when Christians begin to live like followers of Christ, spreading the Good News through works, and not asking a worldly state power to enforce their beliefs on unbelievers by rote of law. It's time for Christians to lead by example, living by God's laws. If we do this, and our light shines brightly enough, others will seek it out and discover the source for themselves. We shouldn't need the compromised powers of state to make our case for us.
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2 comments:
Dear Anonymous,
It might surprise you to learn that I agree with you on that point, although perhaps not for the same reasons. I don't think the government has any business telling a woman what she can do with her body. However, I feel that the decision to abort must come to be viewed as a moral decision, and not merely a practical one. Only then will this country begin moving to reduce the number of abortions in meaningful numbers.
Thanks for your comment...
It's good to hear all of this from your own personal experience (and that being a MALE perspective as well). I am humbled by your openness and willingness to put it all out there, and agree with you with regards to ownership and responsibility. I'm not sure it is possible to see man (the amorphous hugeness under that title) change and become a better creature. . . I can't help feeling that it will ever be a case of individuals who fall on their knees and find him in ones and twos, and a future somehow apart from what we presently imagine. Bigger than our hope that a nation might change, more to do with an entire universe up ending and beginning again. I hope.
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